Of Fasting

Isaiah 58

True Fasting

¹ “Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.
² For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.
³ ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
⁴ Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?

⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

¹³ “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Oddly enough, there really is no mention of a personal aspect of fasting, not that I think that there is no personal effect or benefit. But in meditating on this passage, I’d have to say that I think fasting, just as every aspect of our Christian walk is meant to draw us beyond ourselves. Because God’s heart is really for the people.

Two of the biggest questions I had as I worked through this passage was:
1. How do we go from a personal act as fasting, to an external and inclusive response (such as, clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, fighting injustice, or setting the captive free) ? [vs. 6, 7, 9b, 10, and 13]
2. How do we go from our actions in our fasting  and “good works” to the rewards God (and these are some awesome rewards) has promised us? [vs. 8, 9a, 11, 12, and 14]

The answer I’ve come to is a solution to both.

Verdict? Well, my answer is built on two premises:
1. As my small group leader said, “Fasting is giving up something you love, for someone you love more.”
2. The affections of the heart can not be forgotten nor destroyed – only replaced.
This is why fasting must always be coupled with prayer and scripture. What good is a day of fasting television if I spend it playing video games? What good is forfeiting a day of meals when you spend the day watching movies? What good is giving up chocolate when you binge on coffee? Like the man who had his demon exorcised only to become possessed by seven demons worse than the first, it is just as important what we replace that affection with as it is that we surrender it in the first place.
But rightful fasting takes our affections, desires, drives, and needs, and replaces it with the greatest love, desire, motivation, and necessity – God. And with every bondage and claim we sacrifice in fasting, God replaces it with something greater Himself. (This point bears repeating.)

This is my answer to both questions. As we rightfully fast, God reworks our priorities, motivations, and desires and replaces it with His. And what is on  His heart? To clothe the naked, feed the hungry, shelter the destitute, to free the captives, and abolish injustice. As we get drawn deeper into who He is, and He comes to constitute us more  and more, we can’t help ourselves but to follow the longings of His heart.
And in that place of intimacy, surrender, and obedience, we find the blessings of God in our lives.

For The Lamb

The Vision

Red Moon Rising
The Vision

So this guy comes up to me and says “what’s the vision? What’s the big idea?” I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don’t need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays
like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24/7. 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives – swap seats with the man on death row – guilty as hell.

A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centers.
Don’t you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo’s! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is His today. My distant hope is His 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great ‘Amen!’ from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ Himself.

And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.

– W.B. Yeats

Pleasure

“He who loveth mean and sordid thing doth thereby become base and vile; but a noble and well-placed affection doth advance and improve the Spirit into a conformity with the perfections which it loves.”

Pleasure

“The worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love.”
– Henry Scougall

How can you assess the beauty of an invisible heart?
By what it thinks?
But intellect can be misguided, as the devil aptly proves.
By what it does?
But we do all sorts of things, some whole heartedly, some half-heartedly, some begrudgingly.
By its passions?
That is how you know a soul’s true proportions. The true dimensions of a soul are seen in its delights.

What do you find pleasure in?
What do you enjoy?
The things we take interest in tell a lot about us. This is why Jesus wisely tells us that where our treasure is, there our heart will be also.

“The soul is measured by its flights, some low others high,
The heart is known by its delights, and pleasures never lie.”

I think that we too often lose sight of the fact that God is a happy God. He is infinitely joyful. I’ve lost this aspect of His joy in the quagmires of legalism. I could not accept this as possible under the weight of my own jaded cynicism.

And so, I am resolved, that I will not waste or throw away the gift of each day through sullenness or sloth. No, every day is a gift from God. Every breath is a token of His grace. Every moment another extension of His mercy. Every provision, from the food we eat, to the home we live in, to the comforts of His grace are all undeserved blessings.
But even more than this, I want to experience the pleasure, not of His gifts, not of His works, but of Him. I want to bathe in the pools of His glory, let it drown me, for He is good.I won’t compromise with the fleeting temptations and empty desires that this world offers. I want the only thing – the only being – who can fill me up completely. In whom there is peace.

“The enjoyment of God is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied. To go to heaven, fully enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations, here… [these] are but shadows; but God is the substance. These are but scattered beams; but God is the sun. These are but streams; but God is the ocean.”

For so long I’ve settled for less than perfect, shoveling in excess and comforts to fill this void within me, a void only God can fill. Buteverytime, I’m left unsatisfied and empty and spent. God I want You for I know that only You will do.

I want to live fully not for life itself, but for You. And wherever You call me Lord, I will gratefully and gladly come. And if You should return in my lifetime, then may You find me faithful and true on that great day.
God, show me the surpassing worth of the fullness of Your joy, a joy which blinds all others. Fill me with this, and bring about within me – Your very pleasures. That I may find pleasure in what brings You pleasure.

“God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.”
– John Piper

Soli Deo gloria

Heritage

The Nicene Creed
4th Century AD

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
Maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through Him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
He came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
He became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
He suffered death and was buried.
On the third day He rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son He is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy global and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. Amen.

Why an elephant? Because it seems so venerable. Like this creed.

Calvary by Karel Dujardin, 1661

Good Friday 2011

Sunday Evening Chapel

Glenn Pakiam
Luke 6:20-23. Blessings and Woes.
Blessed Are You Who Weep Now.

Looking at his disciples, He said:
“Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
²¹ Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
²² Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.
²³ “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.”

“Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” (vs. 21b.)

When Jesus said blessed, He could have used the spiritual word for blessed which would have meant “God bless(ing).” But, instead, Jesus uses the street slang for blessed. This blessed can mean fortunate, or lucky, not in terms of random chance, but undeserved.
We can also note in the passage that Luke is very sparse in his account. Matthew gives twice as many and is much more spiritual in nature.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit.”
“Blessed are you who hunger and thirst for righteousness.”
But Luke, doesn’t infer anything overtly spiritual.
“Blessed are you who are poor.”
“Blessed are you who hunger now.”
And in the face of Luke’s account what conclusions can we come to? We can either say that Jesus is saying that because they are poor/hungry/weeping/etc. they are lucky. Or, we can say that in spite of the fact that they are poor/hungry/weeping/etc. they are lucky. Why? Because though they are poor/hungry/weeping/etc. the kingdom of God belongs to them.

The tale of the Israelites is one filled with tragedy and sorrow. And the two most numerous scrolls was Deuteronomy, so that they would remember that they are God’s people, and Isaiah, because it was a book of hope. At this point in time, the Israelites are in exile, they are under Roman imperial rule. And so it probably isn’t a coincidence that Jesus reads from Isaiah 61 in Luke 4.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
And what does he say?
“Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
Jesus came to preach the good news.

But returning to the verse in Luke 6.
We must ask what does it mean to weep? To mourn?
To mourn is to protest. To mourn is to protest – but to protest is to give witness to a greater reality. We are saying this isn’t right; this isn’t fair; this isn’t how things are supposed to be; all is not well.
What is more amazing is that Jesus joins us in our mourning.
Though in lent, we fast to remember Christ’s suffering, all of His suffering was to enter our suffering. And it doesn’t end there. He took the weight of evil on Himself at the cross, rising in victory over it.
Now, there is a very important difference between the resurrection of Christ and all the others in history who were brought back from the dead. They can be more accurately described as a resuscitation. Why? Because they all died again. From Lazarus to the widow’s child Elijah brought back, they all eventually died again. But Christ died, rose again, and has triumphed over death.

The focus of the blessings and woes written by Luke wasn’t in their circumstance or condition, but in the promise they were given.
“Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” (vs. 21b.)
Our sorrow is temporary, but our comfort is eternal and irreversible. The resurrection was not and is not a compensation for death. It is the reversal of it – the complete and final defeat of it.

But, we can note that though the first and last are present realities, the middle two are future promises.
“For yours is the kingdom of heaven”
“For you will laugh.”
So we are given this contradiction – a present and future reality.
If Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
Does this mean that death has been defeated already? Yes and no. It is a present and future reality. A lot of people see the passage above and think that death was soundly defeated in the past. And now it is no longer our enemy, but our friend, or at the least a negligible aspect of this world. They have the audacity to come in the presence of mourners and tell them they shouldn’t be weeping.
There are only two places in the Bible where Jesus says that “it is finished” and both are recorded by John. The first time is in the gospel of John as Jesus is dying on the cross.
Jesus says, “It is finished” and gives up His Spirit.
The second time Jesus says it is in book of Revelations John received and wrote down.
Jesus has returned and after Satan has been vanquished forever, and a new heaven and earth has come, Jesus turns to John and says,
““It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. ⁷Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. ⁸ But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.””
When Jesus returns the last enemy (death) will be defeated, so it is ok to mourn a death. To mourn over sin. To give witness to the reality of greater things – because no one was meant to die.
Heaven is not the defeat of death. The kingdom of God is not the defeat of death. The return of Christ is the time of death’s defeat. And we are living in the time of the in-between. The dead awaiting, and we in exile.

Lucky are those whose best life isn’t now, because what’s coming is incomparably better than what is.

Sometimes By Step

I will seek You in the morning
I will learn to walk in Your ways
Step by step You’ll lead me
I will follow You all of my days

For the past four years, I’ve always made a point of focusing on a specific theme for each relevant chapter of my life. Not that that is the only way in which I want to grow, or that I am dictating God to work in a specific way in my life. But I’ve found that it helps to be intentional in how I personally would like to grow, and even though God is comprehensive in His craftsmanship, I believe that there are times when He likes for us to emphasize certain things. I’ve had Joy in Obedience, Spendesthai, and Love, to name a few, as previous themes.
But as my graduation approached, and I was preparing to enter into a brand new chapter of my life, I was at a loss as to what my next theme should be.
This caught me off guard, because in all three years, God would lead me to a certain phrase or issue and that would be my theme. But this time there was no burden in my heart, no direction, nothing.
Yes, it may seem insignificant but looking back on it now I can see that this was symptomatic of a deeper issue. I didn’t know what to do next and this uncertainty fostered within me a sense of purposelessness.
It’s not that I need God to work for me, or plop the next step onto my lap. But rather, any plans I make, He is determined to break. After a certain point, I begin to wonder, if He is determined to foil my plans, then what are His? Only the question never finds an answer.
https://dimmyimmy.wordpress.com/2010/03/01/you-are-for-me/
And that has been my life this past year. I feel like a traveler stranded at an unfamiliar airport of a foreign nation, waiting for an unknown flight that has been delayed indefinitely.
In Transit.

May my prayers like incense rise before You
The lifting of my hands as sacrifice
Oh, Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in your sight

Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
So still my anxious urge towards rebellion
And let love keep my will upon its knees

Ever since June, no even before then, going back to perhaps when I lost the MCAT program, I have been caught in an impasse.
A situation I’ve dubbed as being “In transit.” I have finished school, I have graduated – but, I have not been redirected yet. I have left what I was doing before, but my new work has not yet begun.
Perhaps it was dated that I would write this now because it would only be in this way that the fullness of what God is seeking to bring about within me could be understood.
My life has been a long journey of the unexpected. Though I had many plans, God has directed my footsteps.
This is a topic that I’ve been unwilling to address for quite some time, mostly because I’m not out of the fire yet, and more than that fact, because it is better to hold these things from the safety of retrospect, besides there may yet be lessons to learn.
The end of this week will mark roughly the tenth month after my graduation, and yet, here I am still without a job. It’s been a humbling experience to say the least.
And throughout my seven month job hunt, doubts and feelings of discouragement have been a constant companion, unwanted though they may be. To be sure, there are many people who are far worse off in this economy than I am, but, that doesn’t take away from how badly this sucks. Perspective mixed with reality.
As I write this now, I don’t know what the future holds, but I have promises and in a way, I can rest assured that there is only so much I can do. The rest is in God’s sovereign direction – the timing, and the place.
I am reminded of what a speaker once said, that there are two types of faiths, an “if” faith, and a “though” faith. An “if” faith says, “If you do this, God…. If you do that, God… then I will praise you, then I will follow You.” But a “though” faith says, “Though nothing is going right… Though I will suffer… still will I praise you, still will I follow You.”
It’s so hard trying to remain faithful to God, when situations and circumstances seem to be working against you, when trials come and you are tested, but only through the fire do we find our refinement. And I realize that our minor inconveniences are not carrying our cross. To know Christ. Know the power of His resurrection. To share in the fellowship of His sufferings. Become like Him in His death.

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

It seems so simple yet profound, that God will be God in my life.
For this period of my life, I believe that God wants me to learn to trust in Him. Faith.
That is why at this juncture, I am labeling this period of my life: “Step by Step.” Of course, I don’t want to lose the irony of this, normally, I choose or am lead to a certain virtue or aspect that I will pray especially hard for. But this time, I can only, in retrospect define what God has been working within my life. Sometimes, God’s plans are so big we can only catch a glimpse of it after it happens.
We want to have intentionality, we want purpose, we want direction, we want passion. I want to know and control where I am going, but more and more, I am learning to just live in the moment in trust of Him.
That this truth will stand.
Where I am is exactly where God has placed me – where He wants me to be. And more desperately, that God has put me through all of this with good in His heart. It wasn’t one big mistake. Even more than that, oh, far beyond that, that everything in my life whether good or bad, that He will work for my good. Romans 8:28-30.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed in the likeness of His Son, that He might be the first born among many brothers. And those He predestined He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.”
Oh the depth of the foundation of this passage. That He works all things to good, and that our hope in this is secured from before time.
November 1, 2010. “I learned today that this moment here, for me, is a pivotal moment. Things have changed. And in the back of my mind, I’ve always wondered if the reason I seem to be wandering is because I don’t have a purpose yet. And so, I’ve termed this period as Step by Step.”

To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

February 14, 2011 (in no connection with the actual “holiday”) I journaled, “God, I want to stop being so fake and distant. In this time of my trials and suffering, will You continue to destroy me? For all I am is hanging by a thread and that thread is You.”

God, I don’t have to reach millions, but let not my life go to waste.
God, I have been crawling back into the trenches of regret and despair, wondering if I fucked up.
But God, I trust in the face of it all, that You are with me. That Davis.DKC.CFHI. The past five years, and even more than that, revolving back to Korea, and beyond, that all of it was not a mistake. A glaring irrevocable glitch cursed to haunt me the rest of my life.
But rather, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.’” Jeremiah 29:11-12.
God for so much of my life, I have been in trials. God, You know this is true. And Lord, it was Your design.
I know that if You put me through it, that there was a purpose.
That there is no “risk” when it comes to Your will because You are Sovereign, Lord.
Lord, I will believe in Your promises and love and power and wisdom.
“Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
But to Your name be the glory,
For the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness!
Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?”
Our God is in the heaves; All that He pleases, He does.”
Psalm 115:1-3.
And so God, I wait for You. I will wait for You, my Rock and my salvation.
“God, Father, in everything I wait for You. As I move from one chapter of my life to another, please guide me for You Namesake. Fulfill Your promises, oh God. And lead me, to the next stage of my life. I will trust in You, for in You is my faith and hope justified and exceeded.”

I will seek You in the morning
I will learn to walk in Your ways
Step by step You’ll lead me
I will follow You all of my days

Soli Deo Gloria

If you couldn’t tell by the “Soli Deo Gloria” that was supposed to be the conclusion, but it seems… insufficient.
How to end this????
Maybe I will end this with a post I wrote shortly after my computer crashed last October.
“Right now, I think that is where I am, rebirth. God, I am so scared.
And even though I have felt a growing callous and a distance between us. God, won’t you hear me as I type this prayer?
I need you.
How long will you lead me through the wilderness before I am allowed to drink from still waters?
How long will I wander around the valley of shadow before I am allowed to lay in green pastures?
Lord, you know. And in the face of your glory, I find my problems, my guilt, my shortcomings, my “problems” fading away to nothing. What are they in the sight of your holiness?
I am dust, from the earth I have come and to it I shall return. Though I dreamt lofty and riveting words to write, I find myself humbled in your presence, as if your majesty was filling this room and my heart. And so, I will not speak, and with Job I will say, “My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
Silenced.

And for all this, I cannot but say that You are good.
Know my heart and may it speak for me, these words won’t do.”

Coram Deo

BIG

New Life Mish Mash

What is happening in young men and women today?
More and more, men and women are taking life by the horns, tackling work and life with ferocity and gusto. Which is a good thing. But we are in the midst of an epidemic in which many young people are doing well in their jobs, and they are doing too well for their own good.
Basically, they are given a small job, and they tackle it head on, learning the skills and nuances required to succeed at that job, so they get promoted or scalped away to another company for more pay and more responsibilities. They tackle their new set of responsibilities with the same fervor and pour themselves into their jobs, so they can excel at their new level. And excel they do, and as their lists of skills and management grows, they are promoted again and the cycle repeats.
But twenty years down the road, as they juggle a dozen different plates and a mountain of responsibilities, their whole world comes crashing down.

Why?

Because they never took the time to develop their inner character. So you find groups of forty year old men, (and increasingly women), who despite their amazing external credentials and talents, never reached (wo)manhood. Though they were intentional and persistent in developing their external character, they neglected their inner character.
They are a twenty year old mind trapped in a forty year old body – stuck in a state of mental, emotional, and spiritual immaturity.

Voilà, mid-life crisis. This is happening over and over, cycling through the generations.

And all along the way, they never stopped to question whether they should take the promotion, bigger job offer, and only dwelt on whether they could, and how they could remedy that.
Despite the popular saying, “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover,” it has no basis in biblical doctrine. Jesus said that we can recognize people by their fruit (Matthew 7, John 15). Jesus said that the things from within in our hearts will overflow into our actions, thoughts, desires, and words (Luke 6, Matthew 12). And in light of this we must consider, what is within us? Because we will reap what we sow (Galations 6:7). So what seeds are you sowing in your life today? We are sowing the the crops of tomorrow today, so make sure it is good fruit that you are planting.

Ultimately, we should draw our definition of maturity from the life of Christ, He who lived the perfect and exemplary life. How did Jesus live? We’ve forgotten to put Jesus in front of us, instead we overlook Him and immerse ourselves in the culture.
But three things we see of Christ: He was selfless, responsible, and humble.
How does your life stack up to His? The author and perfecter of our faith.

Humility

The Mill
Filters – Choices, Decisions, and God.
Session 4

In all this, we might come to believe that this is an individual – me alone – process. But, as members of the body of Christ, we must reject this lie. Not every decision should be made on our own.
We need our family in Christ, our fellow body members and co-heirs to eternity.

Filter #4 – Ask for help.

We need the humility to ask for help. This is usually something we don’t want to do. In our individualistic society we trick ourselves into believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness. And we desperately want others to think we have everything under control.
However, the wise know when they don’t know something and can ask someone who does know.
The first person we should ask is God.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault and it will be given to you.” [James 1:5]

In scripture there are passages which instruct us to both ask of God and ask others.
“The way of the fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” [Proverbs 12:15]
“Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” [Proverbs 13:10]
Pride says, ‘I’ve got it, I don’t need anyone else.’
Humility says, ‘I need you, we need each other.’
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” [Proverbs 15:22]
“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” [Proverbs 19:20]

To accept discipline, to accept advice, we have to be humble enough to admit that there are people who are more wise and experienced than us.
e.g. The speaker didn’t understand anything in his year of accounting 1 and 2. To this day, he has trouble remembering the difference between debit and credit.
Now any student in a similar situation has a few options like he did.
He could pray to God, explain to God the importance of passing accounting for getting his business major, the importance of graduating for getting a job, and the importance of getting a job for marrying his girlfriend (who he is married to now btw.) And then he could have asked for sudden God inspired accounting knowledge to flood through him during the test. Having finished the prayer, he could have gone to sleep and hope that a sudden revelation would come to him during the exam.
Or, he could have gone beyond, and asked someone who does understand accounting for help. This I believe is the wiser choice.
Having humility is about not pretending, neither exaggerating our abilities, nor underestimating them. And at times, praying alone can be a statement of pride more than humility.
– Or –
Maybe you find yourself in a marriage, and you come to a place where you realize that you have no idea who your spouse is, who they have become. Perhaps his attentions are more focused on football or games. Or perhaps she is suddenly starting to worry and nag incessantly, arguing at every opportunity.
Now, you find that you don’t even know each other anymore, and no amount of talking seems to be communicating anything. You argue all the time, or you don’t talk at all. You never try and deal with the issues, and conversations turn to shouting matches thinking that maybe if you talk louder, you’ll hear each other.
Do you pretend that your marriage is going great? Or, do you confront the problem with enough humility to admit that your marriage isn’t perfect – there is a problem and you need help.
An older wiser couple, your parents, or maybe a marriage counselor.
Remember that God gives grace to the humble because grace is God working, whereas the opposite of grace is you working.
“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” [Proverbs 3:7]
Always be a bit self-suspicious and remember that this isn’t an assumption you are going to fail, but it is a belief that we need each other.

On another note, we need to beware of emotions, because they will cloud our vision and given the space, will scream louder than the truth.
We also sometimes make choices because one option feels more real to us than another choice. However, things that feel more real are often things that are more familiar. But just because something feels more real or familiar doesn’t mean it’s true.
We need people who can speak truth into our lives.

So what do we do when God leads us to a decision? Maybe even a seemingly foolish one?
Rather than slapping around the “God card” and thinking on your own. Have others who can pray with you along the decision process – include others.
Otherwise, we might get into the habit of using it unilaterally, or thinking it absolves us of responsibility.

e.g.
“God told me to break up with you.”
“Ok….. (not much I can say to that).”
Take responsibility.

So, how do we find these wise people?
Ask the right people – a trusted friend, one with a a reputation of wisdom.
Ask the right questions – Instead of, “What do you think?” Which can lead to hasty judgments, or an incomplete truth in the hopes of not offending. Ask, “What would you do if you were me?”
Or, better yet, frame the dilemma and ask someone to pray alongside with you as you make a decision so you can get their input from a more thoughtful perspective.
Ask someone older, who has already tread the path you are considering or walking. Someone you would want to emulate.

When you are asking, don’t ever ask for a mentor, a mentor is a process, not a title. Plus, when you ask someone to be your mentor, oftentimes, in their minds, they are thinking, “what am I committing to if I say yes?”
Rather, just ask to talk with them, give a reason why you want to speak with them specifically. Just ask to talk with them. This way you can draw out of them their experiences without their guardedness of attachments. Either bring a journal or notebook to take notes of what they say, or write down everything they say immediately after the meeting, this not only honors what they are doing, it will solidify these things into your memory, and should you forget, you will always have a record of it to fall back upon.
*I’ve found that, mentors are found in retrospect, not in commitment. You don’t go up to someone and ask them to be your mentor, but through the relationship you develop, you see the qualities of their mentorship in your life.
Prepare more questions than you have time for and if it goes well (you never know, it might not,) then ask for a future, unspecified follow up.
Most importantly, do this with more than one person, have a constellation of mentors who can be constantly speaking wisdom into your life.

It will take time, humility, and intentionality, to develop these kinds of relationships, but in the end you will find God here – we are not meant to live this life alone.

Sheeps and Goats and the Kingdom of God

The Mill
Filters – Choices, Decisions, and God
Session 3

Everyone of us, will inevitably find ourselves in a position where we have thought it through, and a decision isn’t right or wrong, and no one decision seems to be wiser than any of the others. Maybe this is the college you’re choosing, the car you need to buy, or the job opportunity you should take.
What do we do with decisions where no one option seems wiser or right?

Filter #3 – Are you serving yourself or serving others?
Does either choice offer the opportunity to help another?

The heart of this question is the focus of our mind, are we focused on ourselves or on others.
In Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus is telling us about the coming day of judgment when He will separate the believers from the non-believers, like a shepherd separates sheep from goats. And He says to His ‘sheep,’ “For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited Me in. I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me.” To which the righteous ask, when they had ever done any of those things. In Jesus’ reply we gain a glimpse into the Kingdom of God.
“Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did for Me.”

Then Jesus turns and tells the ‘goats’ that they didn’t do all the things which the righteous had done. The ‘goats’ ask Jesus when they had ever seen Him in need or want and Jesus replies, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.”
Jesus Christ’s heart, and the heart of the Kingdom of Heaven is about others.

But, what if no choice still differentiates itself?
“And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” [Colossians 3:17]
Just pick one. Just pick one. Just pick one. But, whatever you pick, whatever you choose, whatever you decide, carry the name of the Lord Jesus.

“We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus Christ may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that His life may also be revealed in our mortal body.” [2 Corinthians 4:10-11]
Wherever you go, whatever you do, carry the name of Jesus Christ.
There are thousands of companies and celebrities and forces in the world that want you to carry their name, but carry the name above all names.
Stop and think. When people think about you, what names do they think of?
Are you carrying the name of Jesus Christ?
Have you been representing Him in a way which is bringing Him honor and glory?

This principle is the very climax of the entire series. It is the heart of every filter, and part of the essence of what it means to be a Christian.
So why didn’t we start with this question?
Because we all, as Christians, want to glorify and exalt God, but it is such a lofty and unfathomable ambition, that we lose the path and make some bad decisions along the way. Then, we find ourselves later on down the road, carrying a name other than Christ, whether it be our own, or money, or a clothing brand. We lose sight of what we were to anchor ourselves to, our cornerstone and foundation.

Last of all, consider, is Jesus carrying you? As much as we need to carry the name of Jesus, we cannot do it. Our strength is not enough. If we want to want to carry the name of Jesus, we must first humble ourselves and ask Jesus to carry us.

“Do not conform to the patterns of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then your will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” [Romans 12:2]

Carry the name of Jesus.