You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2010.
Felt like the right time to post this up.
Presence
Greetings to my family in Christ,
Presence – if I had to sum up the trip in one word it would be presence. On this trip I felt as if I was able to truly bask in the presence and the glory of God. And the closest I am able to describe it is to picture sunbathing. Imagine yourself soaking in the warmth of the sun, its rays of light and heat enveloping and completely saturating you.
So first, how did I end up entering this mission trip? Well, this past winter quarter, I was taking a class in Human Anatomy and the doctor who teaches that class is a Christian and organizes his own medical missions every year. He encouraged me and all others who wanted to become involved in medical missions that we should be living that life now, if we can’t go out now as students, what would guarantee that we would go after medical school with family, marriages, loans, and careers to worry about? So I took it to heart and waited. Two weeks later I happened to run into a sister, Andrea, in the coffee shop and as we talked, our summer plans were brought up and with that, Panama entered my life. I prayed to God, I would take a leap of faith and write my professor a letter of support and if he supports me, then I would go to Panama, if not, then I would go to the DKC South Korea mission trip. The doctor supported me, and I withdrew from the DKC mission trip to strike out for Panama.
The whole process of going into the trip itself was long and there were many times when I despaired of coming up with the money and contemplated or tried to drop out. My parents had both lost their jobs and many members of my family were struggling financially as well. My church had provided $173, and asked me not to ask any of the other members for support. But this left me with no one else to ask support from. However, I can see now that God truly provided through all of it.
Coming into the trip, I didn’t initially expect the team to be as charismatic as they were. Growing up, my church was somewhat charismatic and I myself pray in tongues, but the extent of worship in shouting, and jumping, and falling by the power of the Holy Spirit was something I had only been recently exposed to. However I can see that God was preparing me for what was to come. The Sunday before I was to leave for the mission trip, I was in the service of my friend’s church and the pastor spoke on Acts 3 where Peter and John heal the man who was lame. And that became one of my memory verses, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have a give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” That was the cry of my heart coming into the trip – I want to see the power of Your Spirit, I want to witness the blind see, the lame walk, the mute speak, and the dead rise.
As for the trip itself, I was greatly blessed by all of it, though the excitement never really hit me until I stepped out of the airport and the humidity enveloped me. Training felt like a week though it was three days, but it was a very blessed time. I remember the second day when we were in early morning prayer, I was praying and God silenced me. He lead me to Ecclesiastes 5: “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. A dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool.” Then He lead me to Psalms 46: “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” I was perplexed, but I obeyed and stopped talking. The next morning, during early morning prayer, I was led to 1 Samuel 3: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” (Crazy, since it was before I knew that our devotionals were going to be on this book.) This happened within the first five minutes and so for well over an hour, I just sat there and listened, and all I would repeat was that verse. I felt that God was going to show me a vision – and so I waited. But, it didn’t come, and so I left that church, still silenced and waiting upon God.
During the mission trip, it was such an incredible experience being able to serve the people. (I would say that Panama is a very serving oriented mission trip.) I wish I could have invested my time into Spanish in high school so that I would have been able to better communicate with the Panamanians. However, I still feel that God was able to use me to minister to the people there, even though I may not have been able to converse with them. (IE. Medical clinics, praying, body worship, skits, etc.) It was such a blessing to see the joy the Panamanians had in worshipping God, even though they may have been so destitute by our standards. And it humbled me so much when I heard that one of the women had given her ear rings for offering because she had nothing else to give. However, the mission trip was difficult for me because I felt silenced by God. There were so many times where I just wanted to cry out to God, but still my mouth was sealed. Rather, He beckoned me, “Stop Talking, Be still, Listen, and Bask in my Glory.” The only two times I was able to freely cry out to God was once in the middle of the mission trip when Elder Paul was praying for me, I felt my heart lift and my cries poured out to God. The second time was in La Palma. I always heard stories about Cucanati coming into the mission trip, and though I cannot deny the presence of God there, it was in La Palma where he touched me. After the demon had been cast out of the women, I prayed to God, and something in my heart just broke and I poured out my prayers to God with tears. Not that tears are anything new to me, I have cried in worship and prayer when the Spirit touched me. However, up until that point on this mission trip, my heart had been held back from God, and at that moment, I felt my heart beat once again. Then, Pastor Paul prayed for me, and by the power of the Holy Spirit I fell, and that is where I saw His glory, where I felt his presence. I said that it was like sunbathing, and that exactly what it was like. His radiant glory and wonder shone so bright and with such intensity that it was akin to the sun on a scorching hot day, and the heat and light of his glory and his presence saturated me, enveloped me, restored me.
Medically speaking, God rebuked me for the selfishness with which I originally came. When I first served, it was all about me – what can I do to help the doctors? What can I do to impress them? What can I learn about medicine? Me, me, me, me, me. God used certain brothers and His word to speak to me and I realized my error. Honestly, any person off the street could do what we did and nothing I learned there was anything I couldn’t have or hadn’t seen in my internships back in the states. But what I really took away from this was heart. You see, medicine is only temporary, it will run out, new problems will arise, yet, we have the living word of God. A life which would never fade, never spoil, never fail. It was not about me, it was about the people and serving God through serving these people. I loved to see the heart and enthusiasm the doctors had for the patients. When we were hot, hungry, thirsty, tired with time running out, medicine running low, lines seemingly unmanageable, and no end in sight. The doctors would just smile and say, “Keep them coming, we’ll figure something out.” Amazing.
God also redefined the authority and power which is in the name of Jesus. It is written that all authority in heaven and on earth has been placed under Jesus’ feet and if we would call upon him He will give us what we ask of Him. There is a world of difference between reading stories of miracles and performing and experiencing them first hand. There is a world of difference in tacking the Holy and Glorious name of Jesus at the end of every prayer, and using His name with authority. The name of Jesus took on new meaning for me.
I think the vision God wanted to show me was this – heart. He revealed this to me through the word, in conversations and with two “visions.”
The first was in Cucanati, I was praying for a girl there when I saw her heart. It was black and encrusted with a black plaque which overgrew to consume everything there. At the bottom of her heart I saw a well, and from that well I drew forth water, though it was not really me. After the water came up, it began gushing forth from the well like a spring. The water began overflowing and filling her heart and as the water touched the plaque, it would dissolve. Soon the heart was filled and began to overflow, and as it overflowed, I saw it coming out of her eyes. When I opened my eyes after praying for her, she was crying.
The second vision happened during one of the night services at a church. I was praying for people and as I prayed for one native woman who was standing and praising, I looked towards the heavens and saw a bright flashing light. I turned away and when I did, the light was gone. I opened my eyes confused at what had happened, I prayed for her again and as I turned towards heaven again, I saw the flashing light again. At this point Pastor Paul came out and started speaking again so I stopped and listened, and afterwards, we started praying again. This time I began praying for those who had fallen onto the ground and eventually I made my way to Stephanie, who was lying on the ground, and as I prayed for her, I saw the flashing light once again when I was looking toward her. I lifted my eyes to the heavens once again and the flashing stopped. I looked at her again and I saw the light once again. Then I saw a bed of reddish-brownish adobe clay. From the clay emerged a form, it was lying down and levitating a few feet above the ground. As it came up from the clay, water the same color as the clay was running off the sides and onto the clay, but there was no splash, and the body made no indentation from where it had risen. I saw some hands, which were my hands but not my hands, come in and begin shaping the clay. When it had finished, I knew that it was Stephanie. Afterwards came a breath of wind, but as it came, I exhaled slowly. Then the hands came in again and reached inside her chest. From her chest it drew forth her heart, but it was hardened and dark. The other hand came in and it held a heart of flesh. The heart was slicked in blood which was running down the forearm of the hand. The hand went and placed that heart within her chest and the other hand came in and traced a cross on her heart, but as it did so, the flesh of the heart was burned so that the cross was branded onto the flesh of her heart. Afterwards, the hands came back in again, but this time it was holding a golden wire, it was flat and ornamented as a vine. The hands began binding the wire around her heart and as it did so, I began calling out scripture and the scripture was taken and bound to her heart, I was doing this when Pastor Paul ended the night. So I stopped praying and left for the bus thoroughly confused as to what I had just experienced. As I was sitting in my seat, Stephanie is helped onto my bus and sits down next to me. She is still swaying and confused and praying tongues, pausing only to ask questions. At this, I was confused, amazed, and knew what I should do next. From the moment the bus left until we reached the restaurant we were traveling to, she was besides me praying in tongues, and I was recalling every verse and passage of scripture I could. After about 15 minutes, I had said all the scripture I could, and at that, the wire wound about her heart one last time and was sealed upon her heart. PTL.
Through these two visions, as well as everything which went on during the mission trip, God revealed to me the importance of heart. Whether it be in my heart in serving God, in doing everything with all my heart, God’s heart for us, our hearts for God, our heart’s for our brothers and sisters, God’s heart for the lost, or our hearts for the lost – it always comes down to heart. I remember the saying, “Heart FaithCompassion.” As we serve with all of our heart, we touch upon faith, and as we trust in God and live out our lives in that faith, it will lead to compassion. This was what God wanted to show me.
With this in mind, I have been struggling a lot over our work in Panama. What did we heal for? What did we exorcise for? What did we serve for? To what purpose? When Jesus healed people, He didn’t seek out people and heal everyone He could lay His hands on. Rather, He sought out certain people and healed those who sought him. And with every work and word He had a purpose – holiness. He didn’t heal for the sake of health. He didn’t rebuke for the sake of respect. He didn’t perform miracles for the sake of aweing the people. It was all for holiness. That they would be made more and more into the likeness of God – set apart. So I must reflect back on what we did. Could we honestly say we love the people and be satisfied with their mere physical health? Are we satisfied with healing their infirmities and demons when they have not received of the eternal life. We can heal the lame and the blind and the deaf and the mute, but without Christ they are still crippled. We can raise the dead, but without Christ, they are still condemned. We can cast out demons, but without Christ they are still possessed. And so I think back on all the people we touched, we healed, we ministered to and my heart yearns for them. Do they have eternal life? Do they know Christ? The man who could hear again, does He now hear the voice of Christ in His heart? The woman who was exorcised, is she now consumed by the Holy Spirit, or is she now in a worse state than before? Matthew 12:43-35. The man who gained his sight, does he now live in the marvel of the works the power of our God has created? In the end, miracles, evangelism, gifts of the Holy Spirit, the sacrifice of tears and sweat and blood, and every deed done for the name of the Most High God is insufficient without this – love.
Post-missions is something I’ve always found hard. But, God told me during the mission trip that it would be incredibly hard for me once I got back to Davis. And of course it was. I got very sick the night I got back and had very bad diarrhea for about ten days. While I was sick, I realized that I hadn’t picked up the Bible once, since I had been sick. A true test for sure. Since I’ve gotten back to Davis, God has really been pounding in me the gravity of what sin is. I have also been under heavy spiritual attack and can now say that I have heard the Devil’s laughter.
My ministry has been covering the topic of spiritual warfare this summer and truly, it is a war. When Satan was thrown down he was angry for he knew his time was short. Every moment brings us closer to Christ’s return and we must run this spiritual race. I always thought that enduring the flames was the worst of it. But we must remember that even after we have passed through the fire, the metal must be beaten and cooled before it of any use. I feel this is the theme God wills for me for the remainder of this year.
On a separate note, the four of us have come back to Davis on fire for God, and with our presence and the words of our testimony, we have been singeing people for God as well. Stirring things up, and I believe you can expect more people from Davis to apply next year. I myself am praying to be allowed to return there. But all in God’s timing and according to His great purpose.
Soli Deo gloria,
In Christ,
Daniel “Dimmy” Im
“As to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.”
2 Peter 1:19
In the beginning, I dwelt with You. I strove to do what was right in the eyes of You, my God. I led Your people to seek You and tore down the Asherah poles and incense altars. When my enemies amassed around me in numbers too large to count, I came to You and You delivered them into my hands. I fortified the cities and towns and none dared to wage war against me.
I called on Your name and You came to me and lifted me up in the eyes of Your people. But for all this, You gave me a simple command: to seek You, to be strong, and to never give up. You spoke to me and I took courage in the words of Your mouth. Did I not lead Your people in devotion to You, did I not depose my own flesh and blood for their offenses against You, did I not repair Your altar that stands in front of Your Holy Temple, did I not offer You gold and silver to fill Your temple, did I not remove the detestable idols from the land You have given to us as our inheritance?
For all this, You gave me rest on all sides from my enemies and the land lived in peace.
But my pride grew around me. I looked to the East and the West, the North and the South, and only saw the domain of my own hand. Though my heart was committed to the God of Israel, I left the high places standing in the land. When my enemies swelled around me, and hemmed me in, I trusted in the sword and strength of men, in chariots and the spear and by them, gained victory. With the gold and silver of the temple I prostituted Israel to the strength of another. No one cried out for the God of the Holy Temple in the City of David.
I fortified the cities and my enemies swelled around me to cut me off from the land. A voice spoke to me and it fell like the hammer upon glass, and my arrogance blinded my heart and my ears. The prophet I jailed to silence the voice of He who rose against me. The people were treacherous and I dealt with them brutally as traitors. My body wasted away and I turned to my physicians for healing, but they could not cure the disease of my flesh.
And now, You are about to take my life, my God.
______________________________________
“Although he did not remove the high places from Israel, Asa’s heart was fully committed to the LORD all his life.” 2 Chronicles 14:17.
______________________________________
The verse above was my QT for the day, I read it and having somewhat of a background on the Kings of the past(–> almost all of them were wicked and did evil in the eyes of our Lord,) I thought to myself, “wow, he must have been quite the guy.” I read of his exploits and his beginning and was convinced that here, we had a man in the likeness of David son of Jesse. But then, I continued reading and saw the end which he had established for his name. And I considered how a man committed to God as he had been could fall to such great depths. I realized that the fall of the greatest of giants could come from as small a matter as the leaving of the high places of idolatry. And that in the end, Asa did not seek the Lord for strength, he did not heed the warning of the prophet Azariah.
For me, the biggest message that spoke to me in this was the necessity of finishing strong. To stand and remain standing after having stood. To run the great race with endurance and perseverance.
I wrote this last Spring, as my class brothers and sisters approached the end of their collegiate career. As my turn approaches to graduate, I post this once again. We are now at the last quarter of another year, for some of us (myself included,) we are now in the last quarter of our undergraduate career. Let’s finish strong brothers and sisters.
Soli Deo gloria
Remember this: “For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9
Coram Deo - Living Before the Face of God 